Want To Hate You Half As Much As I Hate Myself
by Ashimattack
Summary: what are you, a ninja? you make it look so easy' she said. and he smiled. quietly dying inside.


**ok, this was origionally Sasuke but I decided that I write about Sasuke too much.**

**god I hate him so damn much**

**but he's hot and I love his story and writing about him is just so easy!**

**anyways I changed this and now it's like, completely different**

**I hope it's good**

**Ash**

**------**

He sat in the quiet bar, head down, blonde hair covering his face so's not to catch anyone's eyes.

He didn't particularly want to draw attention to himself as he was so shit scared that someone would recognise him and think, 'hey, aren't you that Uzumaki kid that ran away from the leaf village?'

Not that anyone would.

Not that anyone really cared all that much anyway.

He had no family, no friends and now he had no home.

All he had were broken dreams.

A long time ago all he had wanted was to be accepted

He thought that if he tried really hard that people would just see him as he was, a kid with dreams,

that didn't work out.

he thought that if he became the Hokage that he could make people accept him.

but who would let a monster be Hokage?

After that he had found himself loving Sakura.

But she had eyes only for someone else.

then he found a friend.

but that friend proved to be a liar and stabbed him in the back.

He wanted to be happy too.

But there was no chance of that happening.

A ninja's life was not about happiness.

So he decided to quit, but Tsunade had forbidden that.

Rough times were ahead in Konoha and they needed every ninja they had and Naruto had great chakra and determination.

So he was required to fight even though it killed him inside.

So he had done the only thing he could do.

He ran away.

He didn't want to be brave anymore

He wanted to be able to show emotion again

He wanted the only family he had to return to him.

For Kakashi to not be dead and it not to be his fault

For his teammates to look at him again without hate in their eyes.

heck for them to even look at him

He was sick of wanting things.

Why couldn't anything be a given?

He wished he could do it all over again.

He would befriend Sasuke from the start, and always be there

he would give Sakura everything, because she deserved it.

he would make sure Kakashi never went on that mission

but mostly he would never become a ninja

He was sick of analysing the past, he wanted to look at his future and think, 'yeah. Life is good. Everything is going to be okay'

But the real world didn't work like that.

So now he found himself in a dirty bar in the middle of nowhere surrounded by greasy old men and probably a prostitute or two.

'Would you like anything else, Hun?' asked the woman working at the bar, she was old. Older than Naruto, and she had a nametag that said 'Dorris'.

Naruto looked up at her and smiled sadly.

'Nothing thank you' he said _except for a time machine so I can go back and not be an idiot_

'_He's beautiful' _she thought '_a kid that pretty does not belong here'_

'Ok' after a moment

Naruto mistook her pause for something else. Was him smiling really that weird? For all she knew he did it all the time

For all she knew this wasn't the first time he'd smiled in ten years

The first time he had shown emotion since being with Sasuke and Sakura, back when everything had been great.

He was 22 now and it felt weird to smile.

After everything he'd been through.

Naruto was interrupted from his thoughts by a couple of guys dressed head to toe in black entered the building carrying large rifles and walked to the front counter.

One of them held up his gun to Dorris.

'Give me all the money in the till' he asked politely

The other guy looked around the bar. He didn't sense any threats –how wrong he was- but he decided to warn everyone instead.

'No one try to be a hero' he shouted.

Naruto sniggered.

the closest thing he'd done in a while to showing emotion

The guy fell silent and stared at the 22 year old.

The kid didn't look like much, messy blonde hair and bright blue innocent looking eyes.

this kid hadn't seen much.

the guy was an idiot and decided to rough him around a bit.

'What was that pretty boy?' he asked and spat the ground at Naruto's feet.

Naruto turned and glared at him, then glared at the spit in disgust.

'That's gross' he said 'lick it back up'

The guy looked at him incredulously

Who was this kid to tell **him **what to do?

'What did you just say to me?' he asked while shooting him a deathglare.

Naruto met his gaze and didn't even flinch, he was used to getting deathglares from pretty much everyone.

He then jumped into the air and landed on his back, within seconds he held a kunai to the man's throat.

'I told you to lick. It. Up **Moron!**; he said in a dangerous tone.

The guy fainted immediately and Naruto thought he had won until he heard the _click_ of a gun being held to the back of his head.

He slowly turned around and saw the other guy.

Oh yeah, he'd forgotten about him.

'What the hell did you do to my partner, pretty boy?' asked the other guy.

Naruto rolled his eyes and stayed silent, what was with these guys?

'I asked you a question son, and if you value your life I suggest you give me an answer.'

'Ok well then I will tell you exactly what I did to your friend here. I jumped on his back and held a kunai to his throat. He then passed out' said Naruto, and he couldn't resist adding 'weak'

The guy growled and cocked the gun.

'Smartass' he said

'Woah Woah! Wait up mate, no one wants to get shot here...' said Naruto slowly

The guy merely growled again and didn't lower his gun.

'Fine, I guess we have to do this the hard way' said Naruto as he punched the guy in the gut.

The guy immediately clutched his stomach and Naruto started to bash him over the head.

He delivered blow after blow and eventually the guy fell the ground next to his partner.

Everyone in the bar sat there staring at Naruto, stunned.

Until eventually Dorris started clapping, everyone joined in the clapping and Naruto just stared at them.

'Good job son' she said, 'what are you a ninja or something? You make it look so easy!'

Naruto smiled at her, dying quietly inside.


End file.
